come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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