I want to stick my p in your. b.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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