dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
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