Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
