we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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