Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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