He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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