p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
