I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
It's no shave November. This is our time.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
