I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
