Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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