Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
