I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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