if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
