Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
