just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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