You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
