My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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