this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
