How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
