Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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