I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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