found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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