smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
is this the sara with the beer cane?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
