Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Randomize
