At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
