So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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