i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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