He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
