Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
either way he was missing a nipple.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
