Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
the liver wants what the liver wants
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
