Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
