It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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