paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
