Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
