we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
