He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
