I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
