I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
