There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
ok first of all what the fuck
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
