Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
