Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
