grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You're breaking my sexual little heart
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
