ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
