Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
The air was thick with penises
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
