Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
