What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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