She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
