In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
