I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Randomize
